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WHAT’S STOPPING YOU?
There is usually a belief that underlies every problem that people perceive.
So what are beliefs and where do they come from?
A belief is a statement about reality that you believe to be the truth.
Our initial core beliefs are formed in childhood from parents, teachers and society. We interpret the world every day, through the filter of these core beliefs. I like to call them our personal rule book.
But the beliefs we hold are not necessarily the truth and they stop serving us when they cause us to be, do or have things we don’t want.
Limiting beliefs are often about ourselves, for example, I’m not good enough to be promoted or I’m not sufficiently qualified. So, you don’t put yourself forward for something you want.
Bronnie Ware is a former palliative care giver, who has written a book about the regrets her patients shared with her.
The most common regret was people wishing they had lived a life true to themselves, not a life that others expected of them.
According to Ware, the top five regrets all came down to a lack of courage, because it takes courage to step out and say I don’t care what you think anymore.
So much of people’s lives is shaped by lack of self-belief and fear of failure.
People worry about how they are going to look in front of others and the assumptions or judgements they make about them. They believe what makes them good enough, is having others think well of them.
But what others may think are just their opinion, based upon their beliefs, according to their personal rule book. They are not necessarily the truth and they do not define you, unless you choose to believe them too.
When you let go of what others think of you, good or bad, it empowers you, because you have taken back your personal power.
You can then make decisions that support what you want, because others have ceased to have any power or control over you.
In my experience, it’s difficult to make a change without first exploring your beliefs, because they are unconscious, automatic and in control.
When you explore beliefs you can evolve beyond them, by asking yourself, are they true? Where have they come from? How have they served me? How have they impeded me? Each belief can be friend or foe, if not correctly applied.
When people seek a coach, they are seeking change. They want to take some action, to achieve a desired outcome of choice, rather than be a passive spectator.
I support people to identify limiting beliefs, so they can re-write or discard them, in order to create a helpful platform for change.
A right mind is one that does not hinder or act as an obstacle to achieving what you want.
Remember, you don’t have to believe everything you think, it’s your choice.
Karen Phillips is an ICF PGCert qualified personal and business coach.
She can be contacted via her website at rightmindcoach.co.uk
or via rightmindcoach@outlook.com
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